sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
