I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
