I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
True college students do jello shots in the library
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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