I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
