i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
