It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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