Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
