He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
