You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
