And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
