good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
