I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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