If i come over, it means nothing
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
