Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
