New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
