This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
