Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
