The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
