Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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