i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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