I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
