jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
