ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Text me some of your sweat
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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