so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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