you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
