I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
