you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
