Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
