you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
