Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
