too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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