did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
