I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
