they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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