sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just found puke in my bra..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
