That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
