ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
