His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
