that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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