Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
