I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
