WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
