I must be too annoying 4 u.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
