I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Shame is for Republicans.
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