I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
