Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
