Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
