i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
