I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
