i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
