guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
