i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
