ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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